Money is everything – right?
November 26, 2014 in Steps on my Road – an Epidemic of Suicide
Money is everything – right? 
Lots of drama. People kill for money, get killed for money, die for money, and live for money. Um. What’s wrong with this picture?
Dammit, it’s just a tool. If I told you: “Hey, buddy! Guess what? I’m a MILLIONAIRE!! Yep, I got me a warehouse full of ONE MILLION tools. I got me screw drivers, hammers, drills, chisels, soldiering irons, rivet guns, nail guns, toilet plungers, measuring tapes, mallets, sledge hammers, wheel barrows… Dude! I got a MILLION of them! That makes me a MILLIONAIRE!”
Well, you might be forgiven for looking a bit surprised, and asking:
“Err… that’s real nice, Francis. But… what are you going to DO with all that stuff…?”
It’s the same for money. So somebody’s got a million dollars cash in the bank. Big whoopety-doo. What’s he gonna DO with it?
You can only eat so much apple pie…
If your house has a bathroom with a toilet, is the experience of, ummm… pooping, that much more enjoyable because you are doing it in a diamond encrusted commode? With gold handles? Surround sound and incense? I doubt it.
As long as you have a roof over your head, is the experience of going to the toilet that much more enjoyable, because you left your three bedroomed semi, and moved to a twenty thousand square foot 30 bedroom behemoth with all the mod cons? Indoor swimming pool, indoor theatre, massage parlor, wine cellar, and don’t forget the quintuple heated garage? Who cares. Now you’ve gotta take a cab to the bathroom. Or a bicycle. Bloody nuisance, when you’re in a galloping hurry, after that funky curry you maybe shouldn’t have had.
The essential quality and thoughtfulness of our lives… is not affected in any meaningful way by having lots of extra money. Maybe the reverse, eh?
I enjoy Buddhist thought in this regard. There’s a dude called Bill Porter, a.k.a. Red Pine, and he has translated some of the old Chinese Poems. I have three of his books lying right here on the table. I find it humbling, that you can go back and read words that were written over a thousand years ago, and are as valid today as they were then. Seriously.
A hundredfold greed to enhance your body
The transient illusory snuff of a wick
Buried in a grave does it still exist.
In the “Collected Songs of Cold Mountain”, Bill Porter translated the works of a wistful, feeling, mischievous, very much alive Chinese hermit by the name of Cold Mountain. Here is number 188. Written twelve hundred years ago!
Your poems possess no sense
I said for the Ancients
Poverty was no disgrace
To this he answered laughing
Such talk is poorly reasoned
Well sir then be as you are
With money your concern.
So, money is important as a tool. It’s a measure of efficiency, and a storage of reserves for hard times. We respect it, we try and be careful with it, but as the “be all” and “end all”, it hardly qualifies.
There is another great book called “Hard Times” by Studs Terkel.
He interviewed survivors (and their descendants) of the Great Depression. So we can read about the impact of it all through the words of many different people, from different social classes. Something that stood out for me, was the high rate of suicides amongst the formerly well off. There were lots of much more humble folk, who hung on and survived. Money is just… money. Important, yes. The beginning and end of Meaning? Hell, no.
go back to list of possible Stepping Stones Across? 
Last edited by Francis Meyrick on November 28, 2014, 10:43 am
To err is human
November 26, 2014 in Steps on my Road – an Epidemic of Suicide
To err is human, but to keep on forgiving is a royal pain in the neck
Okay, so I mangled that adage. I should have said: “To err is human, but to forgive divine”.
So, why didn’t I?
Well… that probably reflects the lowly level of spiritual development on which I stand. When I was a teenager, impressionable and idealistic, I read a biography on Mahatma Ghandi. I was so impressed I read it twice. Then I saw the movie. Including the touching scene, apparently pretty accurate, where he smiles at his assassin, and forgives him. Awesome stuff. Now, is that the way I live? Nope. It’s not very… practical? No, that’s not true. In his time, in his circumstances, he was a marvel. Is that what we need today?
I know “to err is human”. I understand that. I’m an expert at erring. If it’s possible to err in some field of human endeavor, I’ve probably done it. Multiple times. So I try (good verb that, “try”) to be feeling and compassionate. I try and be gentle with myself, and I try and be gentle with others. I admire much of the Buddhist teachings, and the gentleness and serenity of so many of their people. I have met many wonderfully compassionate Christians. As well as judgmental, holier-than-thou, self-elevated, sneering, condescending d… heads I could happily have kicked in the n…s.
So what am I? It doesn’t matter here. More, importantly, where are you at?
I suspect most people, you included, accept that making mistakes is part and parcel of our walk through this funky little life. It happens. This raises lots of questions. Guilt. Self love. Self forgiveness. Mix all that up with “confusion”, and you have a rich and multi-colored tapestry going together.
That’s Life.
Many years ago, in my twenties, I was asked a question by a wise man:
Did I understand the Three Loves?
Huh!? What three loves? I looked blank. He asked me to guess. I guessed “Love of Man”, and “Love of God”, but I was stumped on the third one. I had no clue. He wouldn’t tell me. It bugged me all night long. Eventually, he told me: “Love of self”. I felt cheated. Baloney. What a con.
Still…
I think now the old bugger was right. “Love of Self” is the third Great Love, and the one we most struggle with. Where suicide comes in, I suspect this is an important avenue to look at?
Anyway, as per usual, I blog about this stuff. Kind of haphazard, trying to figure it out, you know.
Here’s a poem I wrote, which was written kinda real serious. It’s dark, brooding in many ways. I think in my own mind, I had sent myself into some kind of exile.
Exile
Funnily enough, I laugh a lot. I poke a lot of fun at self. Here’s a poem that stands in total contrast to the one above. It’s a piss-take. Poking fun.
I looked in the mirror this morning
go back to list of possible Stepping Stones Across?
Last edited by Francis Meyrick on November 28, 2014, 10:41 am
The Wood cries out to the Chisel
November 26, 2014 in Steps on my Road – an Epidemic of Suicide
The Wood cries out to the Chisel
The wood cried out in agony to the chisel: “Why are you hurting me so?”
But for a long time, the chisel never replied.
At length, when the shapeless block of wood had been transformed, the woodworker stood back, and said:
“Like this I have made you. In this shape. Through pain, and doubt, through confusion and the violence so common in this world, I have forged you into what you are today. For better or worse, I command you to go out from here, and live each day to the fullest of your abilities. Be gentle with the world. Remember this: without the chisel of Life’s vicissitudes, without the bite and cut of Life’s Injustices, without the stab of Remorse, you would never be what you are today”.
There are many different ways writers and poets have tried to express the same simple truth:
Life is what makes us.
Compassion, Empathy is carved out of us. It’s not until we get hurt, not once, but over and over again, that we maybe start to learn what it feels like. Carving implies hurt. It’s not a gentle process.
I’ve been a slow learner. A “Dummkopf” as the Germans like to say. I’ve messed up so many times, I’ve lost count. The risk in Life is that so many of us grow super sensitive to our own feelings, but forget the feelings of others. It’s called self-absorbed, and lots of us do that.
Slowly, very slowly, even this Neanderthal Dufus (kind of) figured a couple of things out. Maybe.
I recommend Kahlil Gibran’s book “The Prophet” for a far, far more eloquent description of the process of Life maturing us. From a rough block of wood, into something that resembles a feeling, warm, caring human being.
I blog about this in various ways, kind of simple stuff, me tackling the A-B-C of things that are above me most of the time, but here you go, anyway. One of my attempts.
The Oystercatcher, who silently cried out for help
go back to list of possible Stepping Stones Across?
Last edited by Francis Meyrick on January 4, 2015, 6:20 pm
We know very little – much is hidden
November 25, 2014 in Steps on my Road – an Epidemic of Suicide
We know very little – much is hidden
The world is full, as Carl Sagan said, of “confident religions “. Lots of Holy Men, Gurus, both religious and secular, spouting forth about everything (Religion, Politics, Economics, Sociology, Multi-culturalism, Football) with an unswerving authority, based on this book, that text, the other ideology, or some kind of supposedly Divine revelation. They, of course, are right, and if you, you dumb schmuck, don’t fully agree, then you are doomed, lost, an infidel, or a Keynesian Democrat. Oh, and you can (of course) subscribe here and here, and make a donation+++
Yeah, right. Me, I prefer the simpleton approach. I FEEL a bunch of stuff, I SENSE there is a whole lot more going on, I BELIEVE actions have consequences, but I’m happiest declaring myself a SEEKER. I seek the Truth. And I suspect the truth is a bit much for my tiny mind, so I approach the subject with a cautious respect. This is also a stepping stone. Hey, I don’t know much. But I’m curious. Mind open.
I blog lots about this.
Red Dust (1) “If you need a Teacher “
Red Dust (2) “In the Shadow of the Turtle, Meditation “
My buddy “Wild Bill ” (author of “Rotor Trash “) has a totally-different-yet-similar outlook on a lot of this. Whereas I am more cautious perhaps, very, very slow to trust ANY man made interpretation, Bill has a lot to offer with his differing views.
Bill says:
(under construction)
go back to list of possible Stepping Stones Across?
friends of the Way I’ve always held dear
meeting a traveler with a silent spring
or greeting a guest talking Zen
talking of the unseen on a moonlit night
searching for truth until dawn
when ten thousand reasons disappear
and we finally see who we are
Last edited by Francis Meyrick on January 4, 2015, 10:11 pm
Compassion/Feeling is not weakness
November 25, 2014 in Steps on my Road – an Epidemic of Suicide
Compassion/Feeling is not weakness
How many people stumble over that one? Hey, isn’t our society WELDED into the concept of “Tough “? Dirty Harry?
“Make my day, punk! “
Violent video games, nasty, sadistic stuff, and it is any wonder that the best among our young people suffer mightily for their feelings? It needs saying again:
Compassion/Feeling is not weakness
Far from it. A society that loses sight of that truth, is a society in trouble indeed. There is a saying: “A man is not a man, until he has wept in sorrow “. It’s probably a very true statement, I’d say.
I blog about it. Not that I’m Mother Theresa, believe me. I know how to be an insensitive sumbitch as well. I specialize in egocentricity. The world revolves around… Me. Right? But I often try. Heck, I try.
Here’s a scribble that features maybe a tad of compassion.
A Blip on the Radar (14) “On holding hands, and smoking pot “
And here is one of those YouTube videos you come across, which is beautifully crafted.
It makes you think, as we often should: “And I think I have problems? Hell, I don’t have problems. Only opportunities. Look at these folk… THEY have problems.
That video was kind of dark, so here is one that is… well, light? Restores your faith in humanity.
go back to list of possible Stepping Stones Across?
Last edited by Francis Meyrick on December 20, 2015, 4:28 pm
Space Ship Earth
November 25, 2014 in Steps on my Road – an Epidemic of Suicide
Space Ship Earth
Without a doubt, this photo of hands, gently cupping the fragile “Pale Blue Dot”, is deeply touching to many of us. We see planet Earth as beautiful, threatened, fragile, resilient (despite Man), and simply awe inspiring. If you have a philosophical bend, you might like to ask yourself WHOSE HANDS are offering you that brilliant globe? Maybe it is your Father, or the Creator, or some Great Cosmic Kindness. The question might be if this Life was in fact a wonderful gift to you, or some great tribulation, that you never wanted in the first place. And you don’t want now. These are questions only you can answer.
When we get depressed, we little souls tend to look “down and in “. Sometimes, we look in deeper and deeper, and we end up skirting the drain. Faster, and faster. Caution. It is a self accelerating phenomenon. Instead of looking up and out, we start looking in, and the ‘windows of the soul’ start closing over. The shutters go on. Not good…
At times like that, when all is black, when Life is pointless and absurd, when the wanton cruelty and destruction inflicted by Man just sickens us, many of us try and look UP. We look at the stars at night. My mother often recited to me a wise old adage:
“Two men looked out through prison bars,
One saw mud,
And one saw stars…”
Earth is so amazing. I have flown over it all over the world. It never ceases to fascinate me. I have tried, in my own little way, to blog about those feelings.
Here’s some stories in which you will see my tiny mind hard at work. Struggling, the way I do, to make sense of it all. These are hyperlinks, so you can click on any title, and it will go straight there.
Of Helicopters and Humans (28) – “Beauty and the Wind “
A Blip on the Radar (part 11) – “Plastic, War, and Manta Rays “
go back to list of possible Stepping Stones Across?
Last edited by Francis Meyrick on December 25, 2014, 9:36 pm
List of possible Stepping Stones Across
November 25, 2014 in Steps on my Road – an Epidemic of Suicide
THE STREAM last update: 2/29/16 step # 18 Imagine Time is Funky, and Jesus might be possible – one day
List of possible Stepping Stones Across – pick any one
1) Space Ship Earth Take me there
2) Compassion/feeling is not weakness. Take me there
3) We know very little – much is hidden Take me there
4) The wood cries out to the chisel Take me there
5) To err is human, to keep on having to forgive is a pain in the neck Take me there
6) Money is everything – right? Take me there
7) The Illusion of Permanence Take me there
8) One door closes, invariably, another one opens Take me there
9) It’s a F@#k’n!! LIE. Curiosity did NOT kill the cat! Take me there
10) Ain’t nuthin’ cooler than an OLD DOG learning NEW TRICKS Take me there
11) All puffed up Take me there
12) Be your own Helicopter Take me there
13) Is there a message in the bottle? Take me there
14) Beware of Mirrors Take me there
15) “Amongst White Clouds ” – For a totally different world view, here’s a video meant to stimulate thinking.
This is totally irrelevant to our Modern Society, right? Right…?? Um.
16) Question: do we tend to maybe look UP the ladder all the time? Take me there
17) Forgiveness of Self Take me there
How hard are we on our selves? If a friend addressed us in the manner in which we address ourselves sometimes, how long would we keep that person as a friend? Why so harsh? Why do people who find it in themselves to be compassionate towards the Universe, compassionate towards others, why… do they sometimes find it so hard to extend even a modicum of that compassion towards themselves?
18) Imagine Time is funky, and Jesus might be possible – one day Take me there
19) Embrace the yearning Take me there
Last edited by admin on February 29, 2016, 6:13 am
STEPS ON MY ROAD – YOU ARE NOT ALONE
November 25, 2014 in Steps on my Road – an Epidemic of Suicide
WELCOME TO THIS PAGE Click HERE for Music while you read
Welcome to this web page. Click HERE for “Choose Life ” Videos
My name is Francis, nickname ‘Moggy’.
Who I am, doesn’t really matter. It’s who YOU are, that matters. And, maybe, WHERE you are at. In the short space of a terrible three weeks, I was touched by two suicides. First, my brother-in-law, at 48 years old. A complete shock. And then, barely three weeks later, devastatingly, my son, Angus, at age 24.
Suicide is a silent epidemic. The statistics are frightening. One every 40 seconds. Projected to be one every 20 seconds by 2020. Worse than homicide. Worse than AIDS.
I’m not very bright. I’ve proven that to myself over and over again. In my defense, I mean well. So, in my usual gormless way, ham fisted and blundering, the proverbial bull-on-roller-skates in a China Shop, I decided to wade in where angels (wisely) fear to tread. I do that a lot. I scribble and blog all over the place. Does it help? That’s for others to answer. Does it help me?
Uh-huh. It vents my little soul. It helps me blow out the Darkness. And welcome in the Light. So bear with me, while I try and arrange my thoughts. Like I said, it takes me a while. Oh, and, note, the Great InterGlob is full of hypocrisy, shallowness, sham tears, baloney and appeals for money. People selling shite. Snake Oil and sham pearls. Guess what, I ain’t selling nuthin’. Keep yer feckin’ money. Let’s just say that up front.
So, I propose to deal with the societal issue of suicide. Head on. Am I qualified? In the academic sense, nope. I’m a restless, world wandering helicopter jockey. Just a nut, hanging under a nut. (BIG nut, though) Am I qualified in any other sense? Again, I’ll let you decide that, after you’ve maybe walked with me for a while. Did I ever attempt suicide? No, never. Has there been Darkness along the Way? Surely. But I’m a survivor. Very simply put: I love Life. And you, no matter where you are at, you are a child of the Universe. You are loved, believe me.
Many of us feel that this world is becoming a tougher and tougher place, especially for feeling young people to grow up in. There are reasons for that, and we will go into those along the way. So what’s going on? It’s like some of our best and brightest people are losing the will to fight. The people we all love, and need. The Questions keep you awake. What can we do about it? Well, something, dammit. How about one simple DETERMINED step at a time. That’s how the longest journey starts, every time. Right?
Primarily now, if you’re feeling a bit down, I would like to offer you some cheering up. Let me try anyway. You have a choice between two images. You can choose whichever one you like best. You will do that by selecting the button of your choice below.
In this first image, I am going to try and paint for you a scene, where you are standing alone, on a grassy bank, at the edge of a rushing stream.
It’s up to you if you want to imagine that stream to be smooth flowing, or a raging torrent.
It can be a river, if you like.
With that picture forming in your mind, I am now going to ask you to add something really important.
Firstly, from where you are now, there’s no escape from this simple fact:
you realize you need to cross that river or stream.
There is a reason you need to get to the other side.
Secondly, I ask you to imagine that you know that the water is deep. You could drown there. Get swept away.
What I would like to do, at the risk of sounding presumptuous, is to offer you some stepping stones. You can use these stones, if you step carefully, to safely get to the other side. I have a bunch of what I think would make good stepping stones for you. You don’t need them all. You can jump, so you maybe only need one or two…
For the second image, if you prefer that one, we are going to paint for you a scene, where you are sitting alone, in a deep, dark, underground cave. Here you go.
There is very little light down there. You have been in that cave for a long time, and you are wondering if it’s time to maybe, just maybe, climb out into the sun light. You know there are supposed to be some tunnels there, but you are not sure if they lead out of that cave or not.
However, you know that if you see actual light at the end of that tunnel, then that one WILL take you out into the sun shine.
So now I am going to ask you to choose whichever image you feel is the best. You can do that by selecting “Take me there ” beside the image of your choice. (if you want to continue listening to the music of the video above, then leave this page open, open a second browser, and start again, or the music stops) (or click HERE for other music).
Please make your choice now, and we will take you to the next section…
Just humor me. I’m enjoying your company. 
Francis
Interactive: A) best image is “STREAM” Take me there.
Interactive: B) best image is “DARK CAVE” Take me there.
Last edited by Francis Meyrick on June 28, 2015, 7:07 pm
Angus – we all love you so much (2)
November 19, 2014 in Auto-biographical
11/19/14
I finally, after two days, slept a few hours. I woke up with a start, his wondering face in front of me. Not looking at me.
I cried again. With the ferocious, wounded animal intensity, that pitiful howling, that knows no limits to grief.
I am drawn back to a website I found, by the name of www.emile-de-miranda.last-memories.com
Here is the link.
I know why. Amongst many sites out there on the Internet, there is a simple, honest purity there. No requests for “donations “, or money. Why do we have to monetize grief? There are no stupid advertisements either. It’s a simple site, but I sense much sincerity. On this website, I don’t ask for donations either. Nor do I advertise. The designer over there, and I, although we have never spoken, share some common value. It’s not about money. It goes much deeper. Money would be an obscenity. A distraction.
I find myself reading the stories of others there again.And thinking. I read the email from a good friend of mine.
“Hi Francis
I have no words. There is nothing I can say or do, which makes me feel so helpless. I love you. I feel a tiny tiny sliver of how awful you must feel, and I cry, real tears. You are both (he and you) in my thoughts and I hope you can forgive him (and yourself?)
It won’t help much but there are so many young people like him choosing this final solution. I’m sorry you are in so much pain right now. If you need to talk I’m here.
Love.
M. “
We talk on the phone, and he tells me about his daughter. We talk about other cases we have heard of. I tell him about my brother-in-law, who committed suicide only three weeks ago. We talk of causes. And he says something that is on my mind.
“Francis, you have the ability, the gift, to put into words what we maybe feel, but find hard to express in writing. Maybe you can help people, by doing what you do… “
I wonder about that. And I read again, and re-read what Jo Furmer said on www.emile-de-Miranda.last-memories.com, on November 1:
“Threads like this one create awareness, and I am sure many children who are struggling with suicidal thoughts read these posts. Thank you for your stories, and I truly hope you find peace somehow. “
He has made me think. On my Facebook page, I wrote this:
“This is a difficult, dark world, for young, feeling, sensitive people. Us old timers, toughened, war horses, we’ve been round the block a few times. We’ve got the scars on our souls, and we’ve got the tough hide. But to the young, the feeling, the idealistic, the pure in heart, the world is becoming a harder and harder place in which to grow up. My family and I are devastated by the suicide of my beautiful 24 year old boy, Angus… “
I look at his photo, and at his face.
“…he is so missed. I’m reeling from it. I have no more tears left. Hard, hard times. But Life will go on. Step by painful step, we will pick ourselves up. I wish the world was a more gentle place for young people. But it’s often not. It’s up to us, the survivors, to never, ever give up, and to keep trying, each in his own way, to make this a nicer world for young, struggling souls like Angus. Compassion is Man’s greatest virtue, and it is in that field that I will re-dedicate my energies, such as they are. I have two great videos of my boy, and here they are. Take an extra moment today to hug your loved ones. Be gentle with yourself. And with others. Peace. “
Ann wrote, on October 12, these words:
“Can someone please share with me, how they got through without cracking “
I face, newly, what many of you have already faced for a very long time. My heart goes out to you all.
Francis
(from the website designer at www.Emile-de-Miranda.last-memories.com I then got this message:
(I had to add here.. Please read the inspirational posts I wrote on here. On the left you will find the link. This tragedy was the worst thing I ever had to live through but I survived. I am a freelance journalist and writer and to be able to put into words what parents struggled with was a great help to me. Love and hugs, Rea mom of Emile)
Last edited by Francis Meyrick on November 25, 2014, 6:11 pm
Angus – we all love you so much
November 18, 2014 in Steps on my Road – an Epidemic of Suicide
Angus – We all love you so much
11/18/14
Yesterday morning, at work, I heard the stunning news. Angus, my second son, 24 years old, has taken his own life.
Words cannot convey the hurt.
Angus – we all love you so much. You were so kind, and gentle. You brightened up this world.
Through my tears, past my chest that feels as if I have a large rock in it, despite trembling fingers that keep mis-hitting keys, I am going to face too, this monster. You were beautiful, and good. It is this world that makes it so hard for young, feeling people. The world is dark, and confusing. There needs to be more light, more hope, more gentleness, more kindness. How can we do this? How can we make this world a better place to be, for feeling young people? I don’t know the answer, but each of us must try. One step at a time. This is my first, small step.
I have a YouTube video, of our holiday we had together.
Last edited by Francis Meyrick on November 27, 2014, 10:59 am