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FLOATER ME

I used to get this dream.
I had it hundreds of times. It got to the stage where I know I would pretty well “groan in my dream”. A dreamed “Oh-no-not-this-dream-again” type groan.  Frustrating.
It was always the same. I was in the middle of this hot, sun soaked, yellow desert, digging away with a ridiculously small spade. Not much bigger than a kid’s toy spade.  Like you’d expect Johnny to have down at the beach.

Frantically. I was trying to find water.
Not just any water. It was some kind of special water.
The desert reminded me of the dead lands of Saudi Arabia. And there I was, digging away, sweating it. Really trying hard. To find…water.  The sand was so fine, it would trickle right back into the hole I was trying to shape out.  It was maddening. And I needed to find water…!
And of course I never did. It never quite got to be a nightmare, but it was a very tiresome, frustrating dream.  There was me, perspiration pouring down my face, trying so hard… kind of panicking. I needed that water to drink…

And then, woven through this dream, entwined in the way only dreams can do, ran another theme. In that strand, there I was, looking DOWN at me, from a height of maybe three or four hundred feet.  I would watch myself digging. And in my dream I KNEW that it was me watching myself dig. However, the ME that was digging couldn’t see what the ME that was watching could see…

A massive lake of fresh, pure, living  water, out of sight just over the dunes. If only the digger ME would look up, turn ninety degrees right, and walk just a little ways, then digger ME would find that massive fresh water lake. Cool, clean, sparkling in the sun. Airborne ME, or rather, FLOATER ME, could see it perfectly clearly.

But of course digger ME never looked up, or around, or walked just a little ways. So digger ME never found what he was looking for.

Very frustrating…

Now you may think I’m making this up.
Honestly, I’m not. I never did figure it out though.
But I’ll hazard a guess…

Digger ME is the stubborn part of me that keeps me going. Who tries to learn from past mistakes. Digger Me is the part that works hard, is detail conscious, and worries a lot. Digger ME is well meaning. A little clumsy, not real smart, and prone to tunnel vision.

You might think Floater ME is the pilot.  I don’t think so. The aviator is mostly digger ME. The me that tries so hard to be a good, safe pilot.  Who meticulously pre-flights his aircraft, and checks the weather carefully. That’s Digger ME. Not a saint, don’t get me wrong, but a well meaning, plodding, conscientious type.

Floater ME is harder to figure out.
Floater ME is partly a Dreamer. The amateur scribbler. A seeker of The Truth. A spirit. Searching for…God? The idealist, horribly impractical.

Now, ask me why this persistent dream came along and weaved all this together? So I spent years trying to decipher it…? Searching?

Maybe it was a lesson.

And I, a dull, slow learner.

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Last edited by Francis Meyrick on November 15, 2019, 3:49 pm