Writers Harbor

Zuzanna

SENTIMENTS

Posted on March 1, 2008

The day is ending in silence
the birds have flown away
only a few leaves are left on the branches
in those neighbouring gardens.

I sit silently
thinking of you again
only my special song is playing
“sweet Fur Elise “-my favourite song
dedicated to you, my friend…

I was thinking of you that evening
the feeling was great!
These miles that separate us melted away
like a breeze carried on the morning air
my sole thought of you remained so fresh
on that one special October day.

When the fall season
entered our hemisphere
and the beauty of Nature and the richness
of her colours burst forth again…
I wrote these sentiments for you
to tell you how much I appreciate
the kindness and honesty expressed;
you will always remain as a special friend
for the rest of my days.

© 2008 Zuzanna

Last edited by Zuzanna on March 1, 2008, 11:18 pm


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2 responses to “SENTIMENTS”

  1. Good stuff. A gentle poem… I like.

    "Day ending in silence
    the birds flew away
    only few leaves left on the branches
    in those neighbouring gardens."

    I probably would have written this slightly differently: it’s not a biggie. Just an idea for you to look at. I do like the images.

    "The day is ending in silence
    the birds have flown away
    only a few leaves are left on the branches
    in those neighboring gardens."

    " In silence I am
    thinking of you again
    only my favourite song plays
    sweet Fur Elise-my favourite song
    dedicated to you my friend."

    Maybe a slight ‘tweak’?
    How about:
    " I sit silently
    thinking of you again
    only my special song is playing
    "sweet Fur Elise"-my favorite song
    dedicated to you, my friend…"

    "I was thinking of you that evening
    the feeling was great!
    These Miles that separate melted away
    like a breeze of a morning air
    only thought of you reminds so fresh
    that one special October day."

    "I was thinking of you that evening
    the feeling was great!
    These miles that separate us melted away
    like a breeze carried on the morning air
    my sole thought of you remained so fresh
    on that one special October day."

    When the fall season
    enters the hemisphere
    beauty of Nature and richness
    in colours again…
    I wrote these sentiments for you today
    to tell you how much I appreciate
    the kindness and honesty expressed
    always remain as a special friend
    for the rest of my days.

    Maybe a slight ‘tweak’ again:

    When the fall season
    entered our hemisphere
    and the beauty of Nature and the richness
    of her colors burst forth again…
    I wrote these sentiments for you
    to tell you how much I appreciate
    the kindness and honesty expressed;
    you will always remain as a special friend
    for the rest of my days.

    Just some ideas. There’s a few small technical goblins there for you to maybe look at. Great work though, and your warm personality shines through as always!

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