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“The past is the past ” “You cannot rewrite history. ” Valid points but you simply cannot ignore the past. You must accept the past before you can accept the ultimate will to change. Now nearing the rip age of thirty, I am finally coming to term with my long lasted 'growing up' phase. Mainly because of unhappiness with myself. My restlessness, lack of attention to detail, and general lack of patience has been the cause of impulsiveness.  An anxiety, sometimes settled but only temporary with human vices and substances.

The truth, when I fly I am settled and relaxed. A peace or a form of tranquility. A gratitude of “ahhhh I got to do that. ” A true gratitude, after 10 years to 1,000 hrs.

Living on a boat can be difficult mentally. The time afforded “can be a form of therapy ” as described by Moggy. A time to reflect, to think, to analyze, and FEEL. I had wrote something in the second month on contract in great anger, remorse, and with extreme cynicism. Emotions and lack of perspective or relativity. “Relativity, my friends ” as describe by my friend Mark.  
Everything we do is all relative to our own needs and wants compared to others. While this is an ever changing perspective. Essentially, “one man's trash is another man's treasure. ”  An interesting perspective but a crucial one when you or rather I found myself in. The blaming of others on my past problems. Do not get me wrong, some people are assholes and have complete selfish vendettas that are apparent and easy to see. Then those are the secret vampires, the one that influence you secretly to the better of themselves. Not to say that I have been a good or bad influencer or even a silver tongued devil myself at times but it depends on relativity.

So my relative goals, now are apparent and they have ways been to fly and see the world. Simple, life is simple. Do what you dream of, do what makes you happy.  Little did I realize that my own unhappiness was because of my own decisions, ultimately… I had much hate and anger, I had much I regreted …, it all happens for a reason. For me, getting wiser is learning from the past but by far the largest lesson is dealing with the relativity of others and simply interpreting the wants and needs of others. Then deciding whether or not their influence helps my simple goals in life.

People always say first impressions are lasting, I now think, every time you see someone, it is an opportunity to prove that first impression wrong. The past is indeed the past but not to be confused with ignoring it but learning from it. The most important thing is not what I have done in my life but what I am going to do tomorrow, the next week, and in my lifetime. So the future is the future, bring it on life!