On Being an Angry Atheist

Posted on July 19, 2009

It’s tough being an Atheist in God’s Country.

I was watching a televangelist program today, something about Jesus getting in a boat and talking to a storm.

“Jesus TALKS to the storm inside us! He got in the boat, and he SPOKE to that storm.”

Damn. I want to be worshiped for talking to clouds. If I was alive when Jesus was, I swear I’d shake that guy’s hand, the man did something right if they’re still talking about him two thousand years later.

Televangelist programs are the only things on at four in the morning. I flipped around the channels and nearly choked when I could have sworn I saw the priest from the movie Gran Torino (great movie)! So I gave him a few minutes of my life, just for looking like he like to hold the hands of old women and promise them eternity. Of all the things he decided to proselytize about, he picked atheism.

“What have atheists ever done to him?” I wondered out loud.

“Not believe in his god,” my better judgment told me. I mean that is of course why we’ve started every war since practically the beginning of time. Why are people fighting over the “Holy Land?” Because people don’t believe in each other’s god, of course. But then of all the people this 27 year old virgin pastor decides to cite as a renown Christian scholar, he cites C. S. Lewis (!?!?!).

“Aight, now I don’t only have to put up with a bunch of people telling me I’m going to hell for not bothering them, I have to sit through Prince Caspian and his talking lion bad children’s fantasy too,” I cursed. What is it with Americans and bad fantasy? It’s like they’ve got a fetish for the stuff. I mean you’ve got Twilight, Chronicles of Narnia, The Golden Compas, The Holy Bible, someone needs to organize the lynch-mob against bad fantasy in this country.

So I learned some stuff from listening to this kid-pastor. Apparently C. S. Lewis was an angry atheist for 20 years of his life after God wouldn’t resurrect his dead mother. Then at forty he saw the light and became a devout Christian. I didn’t catch the whole quote of what he said, but his reasoning was that everyone loses touch with their spirituality at some point in their lives, that’s why regular church attendance is an essential part of the Christian way of life, to remind ourselves of the truths of what we believe.

Okay, did I just hear what I think I heard? The only way to maintain routine brainwashing is to keep up routine brainwashing sessions. I completely agree! I mean afterall, if you don’t study science every day since the day you are born, instead of just a semester in high school, under penalty of eternal damnation, you probably will forget a lot of the “truth” too.

My conclusion is that all of this condemning atheists for not condemning anyone stems from fear. Christians aren’t supposed to hang around atheists because we’ll tell it like is, that sorry there’s no mystic being in the sky or any other parallel universe and when you die, you die! Plus, we’d lose the church too much business, they’re entirely supported on donations after all. Religion has a monopoly on moral values, that people are just way too corrupt and evil to even think about being decent folk without God, so therefore you have to come to church and leave your pocket book while you’re at it. If you don’t, you’ll die a painful and horrible death and to rub salt in the wound you’ll go to HELL!

What are people so afraid about with death anyway? After all, everyone was already dead once before. You don’t remember back when the dinosaurs were around. I guess people think once they die, they just lay there like “oh snaps, I’m dead, oh crap, I can’t move, oh crap.” However it was before you were born, that’s how it is after you die.


I’ve been kicking around this theory about the Afterlife for a while. Scientists say that after you die, you have six-minutes before all the electrical neurons in your brain finally stop firing. Your last six minutes of your deep subconscious mind that you probably didn’t even know existed. What would your mind show you in that six minutes? What would you want to see? Do you see what you think you deserve to see? After all, it is a narrow pathway to Paradise, and we choose our own paths there. If the shadow of guilt haunts you in life, will it haunt you for that brief six-minute flash of brain activity before everything fades to black? How long is six minutes to a dying mind? A second, or an eternity? Me personally, I’m looking forward to a nice, restful sleep after a high-millage, well-lived life. It’s my thoughts that will shape what I see in that last flash of life, so I’m not worried about what gods or demons would try to condemn me to in life, it’s my choice.

So don’t be afraid people, and stop persecuting atheists thinking it will put you in better contention for a seat in Heaven.

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8 responses to “On Being an Angry Atheist”

  1. Nicole Hellene..

    In spight of the fact that I’m no athiest, and in spite of the fact that I do like ‘ole Clive Staples.. I say bravo!

    You took a subject and you wrote well about it with conviction. You also exposed something a friend turned me on to a while back – what he calls ‘bloody Christians’. I don’t much care for them .. they’re the ones who hoot and holler fire and brimstone, fright night, etc. – just like your televangelist here. You know what..they only believe in the parts of the Bible they pick and choose from which highlight their rather hateful beliefs. There are other writings . . other gospels they completely ignore, because they show Jesus in a different light. Guess what? He wasn’t a misogynistic hatemonger like them. He actually believed in women having a say and a part in the whole deal. I won’t try to convince you of that, but I wanted to let you know I really enjoyed your write!

  2. Yes, good and punchy write.
    I’m no atheist either, but I used to be.
    I do agree that if you want something beautiful screwed up, perverted, and twisted almost beyond recognition, be it Mother Nature’s miracles or God’s purity, then just give it to Man. And watch him totally f..k it up.
    You’ve heard me say this before: don’t confuse the ‘Man made’ with the ‘God made’. I could say: The ‘God made’ with ‘what Man has corrupted it into’.

    Yes, I still shudder at some of the most bigoted, horrible, narrow minded, scary ‘Christians’ I have met, including in Northern Ireland.

    But against that, there are also many really beautiful Christians out there. You just haven’t met any yet.

    Have you read "Floater Me?"

    Good write, Nicole. Nice and…. brisk.

    Also, being an Atheist is one thing, being an ‘angry’ Atheist is another.
    That ‘anger’ may close your eyes to good ‘input’. And waste nervous energy. As you would say:


  3. "be it Mother Nature’s miracles or God’s purity, then just give it to Man. And watch him totally f..k it up."

    Actually that’s the kind of attitude the church feeds off of. The generalization that all mankind is evil and it takes god to clean it up. Mankind made the concept of god (the concept), and god is good, therefore mankind is good. It’s just some people that are bad that the news plays up to make it seems like all the world is bad.

    Now that I think about it though, I think the main reason the church survives is as an outlet for people to socialize. I mean Americans are all lonely and I give props to this country for even putting a price on love and friendship, but people need to gather somewhere to talk and make friends and interact with their community, usually that community is all present at church. I remember being dragged to church when I was 5 and after mass all people would do is talk for hours. I think society needs a healthier way to socialize, that or we need to get rid of mass media that makes mankind think that everyone out there is a psycho killer. Spiritually I think my challenge and a better challenge for all mankind is to believe in each other, if we get on each others cases to save the world instead of just crying to the sky, good things might actually get done (and we have proof that people can actually do good things).

  4. I really enjoy seeing your reasoning, and the emotion behind it, against a section of very blind individuals. Faith and the lack of it has always been something I’ve found interesting. I’m currently a religious studies minor for that reason. This rant was a great piece to read. Your theory on the survival of the church is an interesting one, that I think needs to be considered. I’m currently reading about some similar theories. Rodney Stark is a religious studies anthropologist and I’m reading his book, "Acts of Faith," that discusses new theories to combat the old, failed theories like the secularization theory. You might enjoy it. I find it fascinating.

  5. I’ve written often about God, the search for God, doubt, faith, and hypocrisy.
    In "Jeremy’s War" (which you, Nicole, have started a few times to read, but then you always give up….. oh, oh, is that a vote of no confidence?)
    …there is a lot of that theme.

    I can see a good and positive role for a good Church. I’ve been at some great ones. And some that gave me the shivers.
    But ‘faith’ fundamentally is a very personal state of mind, that for some of us (stubborn old mules) often involves a long and weary trudge.
    I can only say that I respect churches (all religions), but I’m not at home there. For me, ‘Church’ is everywhere. Like in the middle of the Pacific Ocean (see "if you’re good"), or walking through a field, or under a dark, overcast, threatening sky. I draw great comfort from the Bible, although I readily agree that many, many people pick and choose the bits they think they like, and that they think they understand, and ignore the rest. It doesn’t work that way…

    Intellectually, I have no problem arguing against the existence of a God. I can do it, with the best of you.
    However, intuitively, instinctively, on some strange level, I feel there IS a God. Not a Man made creation, to explain away the dark and horrible brooding things of the dark Night. Not a fiction of our imaginations.
    And for me, what makes Man worth something, and raises Man above the level of a nasty, two faced, squabbling, back stabbing little traitor,
    paradoxically, is that this extraordinary Being… cares about us.
    And that, you guys will probably realize, puts me very much in agreement with Paul’s letters to the Romans and Corinthians.

    If you read "Kentucky Fried God-in-a-Box" (which is crying out for some sequels), you will see a bit more about my early development.
    One thing maybe also there you will sense:
    I really don’t believe you can shove religion down anybody’s throats.
    A practice which has been, and continues to be, widely attempted.
    It is entirely counter productive.
    It is an individual walk…
    The best I can say, is what I just did… and it is important that I encourage the debate, and fully respect those who disagree, like you, Nicole.
    But remember what the angel said about the church in Smyrna?
    You are neither hot nor cold? Wish that you were either?

    Meaning, if somebody is an Atheist, and has thought about it, then that is great. Much better than those who can’t even be bloody well bothered to think about it.
    Great hate, and great love are often somehow linked.
    The verse I like the most in the whole Bible comes out of Proverbs.
    "The Lord pondereth the heart".
    Not the head. The intellect. The education. The bank balance. The degrees.
    The heart. I interpret that as the center of compassion.
    Every person on this planet has some choice of whether or not to exercise compassion. That’s what matters.
    Contemplate that, and the whole weird God system thing starts making sense. It did for me.

    Anyway, roll on the debate. Nicole, Alister, anybody else.
    Don’t be shy. You won’t offend me in the slightest if you tell me you think I’m sadly delusional. Believe me, I’ve often wondered that myself!
    I also hope you guys will check out some of my other stories.
    And keep posting your own….

  6. QUOTE: "Not believe in his god," my better judgment told me. I mean that is of course why we’ve started every war since practically the beginning of time.

    Hm.Nicole, let me ask you a question:
    "Do you think the conflict in Northern Ireland falls under that category?"
    "Do you think it is a religious war?"

    There IS a point to this…

  7. I honestly don’t see anything logical in the attempts to prove the existence, or lack there of, of anything supernatural. It’s illogical to use natural means to prove the supernatural. So anyone who can say, definitively that they have such proof has not really examined their own doubts. My point isn’t that we shouldn’t try and find the Truth in there somewhere…but to approach each other in humility, because we’re all in the same boat: any statement about the existence of God is based on faith; whether it is a statement for, or against the existence of God.

    That’s where I stand, right now.

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