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Random conscious emotions and memories of my grandma and all she meant/means to me.

January 20, 2008

Dear Grandma Rena,

I almost don’t know how to begin – I am feeling so much for you and not a day goes by that I don’t think of you at least once. I have always loved you so much and will continue until the day I leave this earth. I miss you in ways I never thought I would, and yet I am thankful that you have not been here these last three years to see what has happened to me.

I remembered your birthday, November 8th; had you lived to this day, you would have been 99 years old. I also remembered the day you left this earthly world for a better place – December 22nd; we buried you on Christmas Eve 1997. I spoke at your funeral and had peace that you had finally gone to be with our Heavenly Father. I knew that you no longer suffered from the pains and sickness of age or the devastating Alzheimer’s disease that left you unable to speak or remember your loving family. I am thankful that you passed in your sleep and didn’t suffer – you died with dignity, just as you lived your life.

Though you are gone from this world, I remember you vividly. You are in my day thoughts and my dreams at night sometimes. I can still see your loving and sparkling blueberry eyes, the softness and warmth of your cheek against mine, your soft scents of Dove soap and Jergens lotion, and the way you would warm my hands when I came in from the cold. Your embrace was always warm, loving, and made me feel that I was in a place that I belonged.

I remember reading all of the Nancy Drew books in the bookcase and then you would show the Grit newspaper to quench my thirst for knowledge. You valued education and knowledge and encouraged the same love in me. I still yearn to learn and grow – I owe that in part to you.

I remember the smells of your kitchen – breakfast in the morning – coffee, cocoa, eggs, homemade biscuits and jelly, and some type of meat. Lunch and dinner were just as inviting and delicious. There were always homemade desserts that no one can duplicate. Or in the summer, you always kept ice cream and would ask me, “Do you want a little bit of cream?” for a snack.

There are so many memories and emotions that you have blessed me with that I cannot encompass in one letter, so I will close for now. I guess the main point I wanted to make today, is that I’ve never felt the same with anyone else, as I did in your embrace and in your house – I felt loved, I belonged, and I knew that you meant everything you did or say to me with genuine love. I miss you so much …

All of my Love,
Rebekah