Francis Meyrick

Steps on my road -17- Forgiveness of Self

Posted on June 19, 2015

17) Forgiveness of Self

How hard are we on our selves? If a friend addressed us in the manner in which we address ourselves sometimes, how long would we keep that person as a friend? Why so harsh? Why do people who find it in themselves to be compassionate towards the Universe, compassionate towards others, why… do they sometimes find it so hard to extend even a modicum of that compassion towards themselves?

The old Triangle of Loves clearly indicates a triple focus. At the top, if you are a believer perhaps, then “The Love of God “. If that is troubling for you, as it is for many, then that apex can be simply “The Love of the Universe “. A reverence, an awe, for something so large, so old, so dynamic, that we little ones cannot hope to grasp much of it. Such love, or awe, or deep respect, such an admission of how little we know, can deservedly be enshrined at the top of the triangle. You don’t have to believe in ANY form of deity, ANY form of the supernatural, to still feel admiration, awe, empathy with the stars at night.

At the base, on the right, Love of Man. No matter how cruel he can be, how destructive, how sadistic, how short sighted, how ruinous of the fragile gift to Man that is our planet, he can also be a humanitarian, acutely aware of the Dark Side of Man, but nonetheless a staunch supporter and seeker of the Light. Surrounded by the cesspit of Man’s worst atrocities, many people have soared to the greatest heights. Persecuted, they nonetheless exhibited an unselfish love, that sought no reward. Pure love. Informed, wise, patient, not naive, not gullible, and not pointless.

But at the base, on the left…? Love of self?
I have watched people drive themselves in a manner that seemed cruelly at odds with their other two loves, amply demonstrated in their lives. Why? Why so intolerant of self, so angry with self, so self sarcastic and belittling?

Come now. A softer voice, a kinder voice, might (if given the chance) point out that there are reasons we are where and how we are. Surely, we had control over some of these shaping forces, but many other influences or driving nails of failure were such that we, understandably, humanly, were hard pressed to deal with them effectively. We are far from perfect creatures. To try and make ourselves out to be capable of so much more, if only we tried harder, seems often a recipe for a strange kind of treadmill. The torture wheel of a trapped hamster. Screaming silently in his head.

I read about suicides, and one University is rumored to have about one a week. These are not statistics that we will readily find published anywhere. No Institute of Higher Learning wants to be known or listed in the context of such a pitiful league table.

How many of these suicides of the young, the best, the brightest, are partly a result of lack of Gentleness with Self?

I don’t know the answer. I just ask the question…

go back to list of possible Stepping Stones Across? Fly

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