Francis Meyrick

Caution – Moggy in the Forum

Part 1: Self Promotion

People who know me, will tell you. Sympathetically. They will probably roll their eyes as well. It’s true. I have spent many an hour contentedly blogging away on my battered, steam driven lap top. Tap-tap-tappety-tap. Tap. (sneaking up on an oxymoron) TAP!
That’s me. Annoying people around me.
“Two fingered Wars and Pieces”, one of my cynical supervisors at work once remarked.

Ouch! Good slap-down. That hurt. Not.
Okay, be like that. You cultural hermaphrodite. Hummmm…

I would finish some outrageous scuttlebutt, hit “Enter” and watch it spiral digitally off on its merry way. Into the Great Black Hole of CyberGlob. Awesome. And people actually read that stuff? Amazing. The world never ceases to amuse me. It’s all a Big Joke, right?
We earthlings are just the green yukky stuff in somebody’s test tube, maybe?
Once in a while I’d try an InterGlob forum here or there. You know, two way street. Not just one-way sending steamy digits off into the great Black Raunchy Hole. Two way. So people come back at you. Sometimes I’d lose interest very quickly. People would come back who were so often boring trolls, and obviously not pilots. Green-eyed wannabee’s. Probably not out of High School yet. Silly people, for whom the Good Lord, in His Wisdom, must have a mighty fondness. He made so many of them…
But occasionally, you would find a little corner in CyberGlob, where the trolls had not yet reached, or where they were resolutely kept (yapping noisily at the door) somewhat at bay. Sometimes that actually got really interesting. People would tell stories, and share anecdotes, and I would find it would trip dusty, old memory cells. Bring back stories I had half forgotten. Kind of cool. Helpful to the Creative Muse. Uh-huh. You know, that grumpy old tart shaking her head in disgust. And flipping me the bird behind my back.
But when I cyber-linked innocently to my blog, in some forum, in the early days, I got snarled at. Silly me, I thought it was relevant to the discussion at hand. The bare-faced conceit. Nope. Apparently not. I was, said the haughty Dissident, “self promoting”. I was a “spammer”. And HE was displeased. Mightily. Go away. Hang your head in shame. Eat elderberries, and go make love to a hamster.
Hmmmm…
I guess this is ME then…

I have given the matter careful pre-meditated thought. I have even post- meditated thereon. (I fell asleep) And I have reached some conclusions.

1) I would like it clearly understood from the outset, that I have been a Worker Bee Private Foot Soldier (Second Class) (D minus) all my career. Far too long. If you say I am self promoting, then by definition, I must have that ability. You are saying as much. Right? Well, just so you know, I ain’t being fobbed off with no lousy Lootenant rank. Nor a Captain. Dammit, if I can do that, I’m promoting myself WAY up there. You can stick your General stars up your itchy nostril as well. I think FIELD MARSHALL MOGGY has a nice, melodic ring to it. Just so we get that straight.

2) I really like the pose struck by Napoleon Bonaparte. That dude could pose! So COOL. So that will be my pose, from now on.

3) I honestly know exactly how I feel about this, so I have written a poem to commemorate my assumed majesty.
Here it is:

Assumed Majesty

Thank you, Honorable Diss-sident,
You ARE entitled to your opinion,
And I to mine. Whatever it is. (I haven’t decided yet).

Humbly Yours
Moggy the Magnificent
(Field Marshall)

…and finally. I just want to come to the whole point, which is that I would like to bow my head, follow my Buddha instincts, and preach World Peace and Harmony.

I would like to.

But it ain’t gonna happen…

Follow the smilies for my final word on Karma, the discovery of my inner Buddha, and the place where I am most at peace…. yes, you ARE entitled to your opinion…

NOW ENTITLE THIS, MOTHERF@#k’R

Last edited by Francis Meyrick on May 15, 2014, 9:36 pm