Citizen Kane versus Centurytel (round 2)

Posted on June 2, 2009

Centurytel CEO by sylvar

Citizen Kane versus Centurytel (round 2)

It’s Monday , June 1st, 2009.

Seems like a good day to call CENTURYTEL again. AGAIN.
About my internet….
The long running saga of one man’s struggle against a corporate giant… Maybe they’ll make a movie out of it. Maybe Jesse Jackson will champion my cause. Or Ted Kennedy. Or, more likely, they’ll lock me up. After I am found, alone in a darkened room, with a sledgehammer beating up and down on the keyboard. Shouting, at the top of my voice: “Kilo…..kilo…..Bites……Megga……download….Arrrrggghhhh…!! “

The lady that answers the phone at CENTURYTEL is canned. A recording machine. I have gotten to know her well. Sometimes I get stuck with her. For many minutes on end. We have had some interesting conversations, a fact which will probably feature in the proceedings when they decide to commit me to an asylum for the criminally insane.
Finally… I get put through to Christen. She’s a sweetheart. Very nice. Seems we are going to do another “speed test “.
I like these speed tests. They don’t even have to talk me through them much any more. It’s pretty simple, even an old Tyrannosaurus Rex could do it. I’d say “Caveman “, but I’m sure that by now that is no longer politically correct.
First…. we connect to
Then we go to “settings “
Select unit “kilobits “, because it’s “easier to read “.
(They say that every time).
Start the test…
And up comes the results:
Download speed (the important one!): 413 Kilobits per second
Upload speed: 255 kilobits per second

She sounds perplexed. I’m not, of course. She states the obvious: “It’s slow “.
Yes, dear, it’s slow.
In fact, she says, it’s very slow.
I’m not going to argue…
I helpfully add that 413 divided by 1,500 = 27 per cent. Of the bandwidth that I should be getting. Of what I’m paying for.
In case you are perplexed, I’ll add that 1,000 Kilobits equals 1 Meggabit.
I like Christen. She sounds concerned. She’s not faking it. Says she will write a ticket for the maintenance crew, and they will be out tomorrow, Tuesday June 2nd. And I don’t even have to be at home she says. I guess they’ll just climb in through the cat flap.
Oh! It’s an outside job? Fair enough.

So now we wait. I’ve been waiting a year. What’s another day.

Ho-hum. Anybody seen any good YouTube videos lately?

My tip: go to YouTube and dial in: “skeleton on a motorbike “.
And, if you are not with CENTURYTEL, but with a REAL Internet Service Provider: enjoy!

Installment 3) of Citizen Kane versus Centurytel will be along.


Francis Meyrick

Last edited by Francis Meyrick on June 4, 2009, 10:42 pm

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