Please Tell Me Why
Posted on August 11, 2011
Tell me what this is about.
How can this be so?
31 deaths mean nothing to you.
Yes you give a pause and a tear,
but they are not real.
You brought a photographer along,
For your own gain.
From triple A to double A.
Best country in the world is thrown under a bus.
Where homeless and penniless,
But the green keeps flowing.
The second best country in the world is shedding blood on its own streets.
There flames growing,
leaping from cars to building,
people screaming in pain, being robbed by fakes, pretending to help.
Tell me what is this all about!
Why?
Why is this all happening.
None of it makes any sense.
The pain and suffering of those.
Why have you used those deaths to employ your own gain?
Why aren’t you crying for them?
Do you even care?
The pain of the green has mixed with the pain of the red.
Expanding over an Atlantic ocean.
Brothers and sisters dieing, not just in war in another country.
The streets run with blood, whether its green or red.
It’s not that of which we can understand.
Not what I can comprehend!
So tell me why!
Why do I have to cry for those that no one else will shed some salty water for?
Tell me why I have to sit and stare, as the greatest nations to hit this warm rocky planet have to fall before my eyes.
And all I can do is cry.
And watch as my brothers and sisters die in a war that is long forgotten.
As the green blood of this country is bleed out in a disoriented congress.
And fire ruined the best streets that I’ll never step on.
So I’ll stand and watch just like everyone else,
But I will be the only one that is crying on her knees,
Knowing there is nothing I can do….
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Love the first few lines. Had me grinning
You have me confused: There flames growing, Do you mean "there are flames growing"?
"people screaming in pain, being robbed by fakes, pretending to help." This line is a little weird. I don’t like the use of the word "pretending"-do you think you can find a better word?
Just a personal preference-"The pain and suffering of those." End this with a hyphen. See: "The pain and suffering of those-" You cut off from the thought for the next line, and this makes it more obvious but is better in the long run in this case.
Interesting line, "The pain of the green has mixed with the pain of the red." Still trying to process it. Not sure.
"Tell me why I have to sit and stare, as the greatest nations to hit this warm rocky planet have to fall before my eyes." Can you try and break this up? In this poem, it’s a bit long.
"And all I can do is cry.
And watch as my brothers and sisters die in a war that is long forgotten." Amen.
"As the green blood of this country is bleed out in a disoriented congress." bleed=bled (bled is past tense.) (Disoriented is right. You should hear me complain about John Boehner. If you need an example of party loyalty at the cost of what the country needs, here’s your guy.)
Amazing line: And fire ruined the best streets that I’ll never step on.
Great ending.
You started out great and ended great, but I think the middle needs some work. Not a lot, but there isn’t as much punch, I found, in that middle than at the end. What do you think?
Several themes running through here, dear to my heart.
1) Anti-war.
If we become "indifferent" to war, no longer "repulsed" and "horrified" by war, simply because it is all around us, all the time, and GLORIFIED by media, films, popular literature and gushing political chameleons…
then we have lost a lot as a race of beings in this Universe.
My novel "Jeremy’s War" has a heavy anti-war sentiment running through it.
Another point of view is illustrated in a contribution to this site, recently made, "Acceptance of War". I have it on my list TO DO, a considered response to that.
2) Man’s Inhumanity to Man
Quotepeople screaming in pain, being robbed by fakes, pretending to help.
Yes, I saw that clip too. The thug pretending to care and just "robbing" the already mugged victim again. Great. A "poster boy" for ZERO COMPASSION.
Sickening.
3) The risk of ourselves becoming de-sensitized. Whenit’s all around you, all day long, everybody’s shrugging their shoulders, walking by… it’s easy to… shrug shoulders. Walk on by.
QuoteSo I’ll stand and watch just like everyone else,
But I will be the only one that is crying on her knees,
Knowing there is nothing I can do….
I do believe there’s "power in the pen". And words coupled to images can be very, very powerful.
Here’s one of my protests. (you can click on it)