These Words

Posted on August 10, 2011

The words are just standard notions that slip from your lips. Simple. Easy to say. But harder to act upon. You don’t wish for that. There was never a friendship. Not for years. They spill from your lips like acid melting your facade. Just simple lies is all you know how to spill. To bad I know the truth…

Last edited by Aileen Maltese on August 10, 2011, 10:52 pm

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One response to “These Words”

  1. Poetry has many tools, and one of these is "image creating", or allegory, sometimes referred to as symbolism.
    You introduced "acid", and then developed that further into "melting your facade".
    That conjures up the idea of acid melting somebody’s (false) face.

    I think you might consider developing that further.
    What else does acid do? It burns. (Fire, holes, charcoal, embers….)
    Fire in turn gives you a lot of openings, including even "re-birth", like Phoenix from the ashes.

    You also introduce an opening where you say: "Too bad I know the truth".
    Is there a way you could relate that back to "acid"?  Purifying?
    That brings you around to maybe being able to bounce good against bad. Truth against lies. Even darkness against light.

    Here’s a poem I wrote, and you’ll see that "mixed" imagery. In this case, darkness versus light.

    It’s called: "I miss the Darkness of her Light" (click on the title)

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