Name
Posted on August 8, 2011
The name is simple.
Yet you seam to forget it.
The word just slips from your tong.
Like a knife cutting through my heart.
You don’t seam to get it.
You don’t even seam to care,
That is not my name.
You go on like nothing had ever happened.
You just walk away.
You’ll only do it again.
That word will only slip off your tong at another time.
Why don’t you seem to get it?
Why don’t you understand that I hate it when you call me that!
I have my own name!
So why do you call me my brothers names?
Last edited by Aileen Maltese on August 9, 2011, 3:58 pm
3 responses to “Name”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Welcome to the Harbor! Have fun…
Looks like you are getting the hang of it just fine.
Lots of different flavors of poetry. Some gets really complicated, some is an easy read. Sometimes, easy is actually refreshing.
Small stuff:
"You don’t seam to get it
you don’t even seam to care."
I wondered if you meant "Seem", but then I thought "seam" could be a nice word play, hinting at stitches unraveling…?
"That that is not my name" maybe drop that second "that"? I know that’s not strictly correct in terms of grammar, but, what the heck, who cares? Sounds a bit better?
"you just walk away" we’re all guilty of that at some stage. Men especially.
Good job, young Missy!
I always like a challenge. thank you for the head up.
Yes i was hinting towards that.
I will do that, I’ve never been very good with grammar.
Thank you
tong=tongue
OMG THIS HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME! Except I’m not as aggravated at it, and it’s not my brothers name. I have been called, in the last three days, Amanda and Chloe. And my grandfather has called me my mom’s name. Just slightly ridiculous.
Interesting about the seam/seem thing. I’d never have gotten that.
But I like this too
(I like the deletion of the second "that." Why? It gives that line more of a declaratory feel)