You are browsing the archive for My Search for God and Meaning.

Beyond the Garden gate

April 17, 2021 in Auto-biographical (spiritual quest), My Search for God and Meaning, Short Story (spiritual quest), The Great Cosmic Kindness, Why do I write?

A Chance Meeting

April 16, 2021 in My Search for God and Meaning, The Great Cosmic Kindness

  A chance meeting It is fine to wander staff in hand that long, dusty road and meet, once in a while, a rare event a fellow pilgrim. With whom we may converse deeply, satisfyingly yet mostly in silence. Listening to clouds the wind, the stars at night. And our own, soft hearts, beating. Return to GCK Main Index? Last edited by Francis Meyrick on April 16, 2021, Read More

Smoke, and lenses. Tiny spirit, thick fog.

April 10, 2021 in My Search for God and Meaning, The Great Cosmic Kindness

Smoke, and lenses. Tiny spirit, thick fog. There is much that I, a tiny mud worm spirit, fail to understand.  I step softly through new portals of thought, humbly, respectfully, as one always seeking a teacher. Or on the look-out. For a better, more knowledgeable man. I love to probe new questions. Or old ones, in the light of new experience, or different perspective. I am therefore always puzzled by the teeming legions. Who confidently kick doors open. With a resounding crash. Loudly, enter. With a flourish. Or is it a swagger? Intent to make their presence felt. Immediately. It seems they disapprove of silence. Acoustic, or spiritual. And feel instantly obliged to fill it. With their -magnificent- being. And I? It seems? Often offend them.  For which I am sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just not my way. I see life as a (very) short trailer. For a movie, Read More

Luminescent, you

May 11, 2020 in Auto-biographical (spiritual quest), My Search for God and Meaning

May 11,2020 Luminescent, you. It’s funny how you waltzed into my life, so softly. It was spring, I remember, when I first saw you. I was oiling a gun. I gasped, and held my breath.  I was hoping so, that you would stay with me. Part of me wanted to plead with you, like a shy child. As if was reluctant to admit, that I needed your innocence. That magic aura you spread around, quite oblivious yourself, as to the living, fragile miracle that you are. Having traveled far, I wondered what you had seen. Experienced. I wondered how cold you had been, how thirsty, how hungry, how lonely, how desperate, even. None of it, though, appeared to have tarnished your grace and beauty. The magic of your delicate entry. You will never know how I stopped, to quietly, surreptitiously, gaze, and marvel, at you. In the early morning sun, Read More

Bound by invisible chains, we dance

May 5, 2020 in My Search for God and Meaning

May 5, 2020   Bound by invisible chains, we dance Being a dull, slow learner, it took me a while for reality to even begin to sink in. I just kind of floated dreamily around before.  Like a lonely, wayward-obstinate slice of carrot, floundering about, slightly forlorn and out-of-place, on top of a thick, perfectly conforming pea soup. The fact is, we are bound by invisible societal chains. That seek to tie us, in this world, remorselessly, to an obligatory, human-composer-defined program of Rules & Values. That we are required to meekly follow. By Overseers’ decree. Our Societal Overlords.  Or else. Among the chains, we play, and fight, make love, hate, and devise our many wiles and schemes. However, we cannot easily leave that chained path. We may, for the extent the chains permit us, run down the track. Or we can run up, the opposite way. But we cannot, ever, Read More

Crossroads Moment

January 13, 2020 in Auto-biographical (spiritual quest), My Search for God and Meaning

  Crossroads Moment   There was a time, decades long, I tried to fill my mind. I ceaselessly crammed all kinds of noisy cr*p in there. Now I’m often trying to empty the conceited bastard. That… just seems a whole lot harder. Learning the systems on, say, an AS355F1, twin turbine helicopter takes time. But once you’ve officially qualified, your license endorsed, you’ve spent time flying the noisy bubble, poking around the brown grime of Los Angeles, the knowledge, although nice, is no longer life crucial. It’s rear view mirror time. In areas of learning languages, cultures, or traversing through the worlds of philosophy, theology, literature, and (shivers) Irish Politics, to a degree, a not dissimilar process takes place. Oh, it’s nice to learn. To roam and travel around the world. See places, and watch ‘Homo Stupidus’ feverishly at work. Or, often enough, Read More

A cold, dark, wintery night

January 12, 2020 in Auto-biographical (spiritual quest), My Search for God and Meaning

It’s a cold, dark, wintery night. The wind tears furiously around my isolated, ancient, wooden cabin. Rain spatters staccato on the roof. Somewhere in the distance, a poor dog, tied up cruelly outside, howls his abandoned loneliness. My old pooch, by comparison, is snoring peacefully (and rather loudly) beside me on the carpet. Cozy-comfortable, and secure, trusting in my affection. We are best buds. My thoughts, simple as they are, roam free. The Universe is my playground. I’m rather partial to old poets. I often feel that these thousand year gone bards have much to teach me. If only, I, the dull one, would open my tiny, rather ‘dugged’, obstinate, mule mind. Take Han-Shan, or ‘Cold Mountain’. He may have passed (doubtless, cheerfully so) on to the Universe more than a millennium ago, and he may not have been the most erudite, refined, bells-and-whistles, Read More

The Great Mystery

January 6, 2020 in Auto-biographical (spiritual quest), My Search for God and Meaning

  The Great Mystery “Good morning, Great Spirit “. I have not finished my first coffee yet. On my lap, a faithful old dog. Only hopped up a minute ago. Already fast asleep. Snoring. It’s a quiet morning. Pale blue, wintery sky. Not a breath of wind. Temperature hovering just above freezing. Frost. The early sun’s rays, dancing low across the waking fields, lighting up a million patient, waiting drops. Beacons. Each, a tiny reminder, of my simple thoughts, that ripple ever curiously through the Universe. “Who are you?” I’ve asked the question a million times. Once, at least, for every patient, brief, hanging drop of dew, I see out my window. “But… Who are you?” I listen to the silence, and drink it in. The silence thrills me. I love it when my mind seems to slowly empty of the sparks and noise, the grind and sweat, Read More

On Out-of-body Experiences

December 11, 2019 in Auto-biographical (spiritual quest), My Search for God and Meaning

On Out-of-body-experiences and ‘Dual-togetherness’ (posted in GAB group, ‘The Great Cosmic Kindness’)  (12-11-2019) Some interesting insights & comments were made, (thank you) and this subject cropped up. I’m no authority or anything like that, but when I was younger, for me, it was an almost fairly ‘commonplace’ experience. Inevitably, it was peaceful. Very gentle, if you like. I’m at ease sharing it all.  Any researcher who might be interested, is more than welcome to share this little scribble, if it is of interest. One occasion was so very vivid, that even all these decades later,  I kind of chuckle when I remember it. I was about six. My next door neighbor’s family had six children, and I was friends with one was the same age as me. I was in some sense an only child, although I had two brothers. One was eight years older than me, Read More

Floater Me

September 19, 2019 in Auto-biographical (spiritual quest), My Search for God and Meaning

  FLOATER ME I used to get this dream. I had it hundreds of times. It got to the stage where I know I would pretty well “groan in my dream”. A dreamed “Oh-no-not-this-dream-again” type groan.  Frustrating. It was always the same. I was in the middle of this hot, sun soaked, yellow desert, digging away with a ridiculously small spade. Not much bigger than a kid’s toy spade.  Like you’d expect Johnny to have down at the beach. Frantically. I was trying to find water. Not just any water. It was some kind of special water. The desert reminded me of the dead lands of Saudi Arabia. And there I was, digging away, sweating it. Really trying hard. To find…water.  The sand was so fine, Read More